Revisiting the Cacowards (1997)

It's time to revisit the fourth year of the Cacowards! For an explanation of this series, please see the first entry.

Requiem

Doomworld hypes this megawad up quite a bit, but I had mixed feelings about it. Instead of looking forward to each next level, I found myself putting it down several times before finally completing it. Looking back at my notes, there are some really good levels in this wad, but it's been so long since I've played them now (just on this playthrough), that I've already forgotten them. Too many of the last 10 or 15 levels were just frustrating and tedious (an inordinate amount of cursing litters my notes). And inconsistent - I literally finished MAP26 in five minutes, then was praying for MAP27 to end after over two hours of working at it.

As a positive, the textures and architecture on display in this wad are fantastic, but the game balance is frequently flawed (at least on Ultraviolence). A lot of these levels just look nicer than they play. The most memorable highlights for me were all levels designed by Iikka Keranen - whose aesthetic I recognized from Dystopia 3 - including the secret level which is an effective tribute to Quake, and Escape From Chaos, a temple exploration level that channels a little bit of Tomb Raider, and a little bit of Duke Nukem's San Andreas Fault. I think this wad would have been much stronger if they had just cut out the fat.

Eternal Doom

This is a megawad that wowed me early on, then proceeded to overstay its welcome. It's actually a compilation of Eternal Dooms I-III. Eternal Doom I (consisting of the first twelve levels) is fantastic. It has a narrative cohesion, with creative levels that convey a medieval atmosphere. Time Gate is a level that has to be seen, with lighting and atmospherics that spark the player's imagination (and had me reminiscing about Phobos Anomaly, one of my all time favorite levels from the first episode of Doom). I also love how entering the exit portal the wrong way takes you somewhere you definitely don't want to be. I can't possibly include my notes about all the levels, but there are a lot of mentions of the gothic architecture, combining graphical flourishes with effective level design. The final level (Darkdome) is a memorable climax that demonstrates everything this wad does well.

Here's what I wrote when I got to this point in the megawad: "we're only about halfway done (maybe even less) with this combined wad, and if it was just Eternal Doom I, it would already be a must-play, hall-of-fame wad. Such great atmosphere. The medieval architecture gives it a Partial Conversion feel, but with all the smoothness of the default weapons, enemies, and mechanics. The levels are expertly designed, meticulously detailed, and lots of fun to explore, while the action is well-balanced and exciting, with good monster traps that thrill you, without enraging you too frequently. Highly recommended."

But then I continued to play 14 more levels of Eternal Doom II, and six levels of Eternal Doom III (two of which were awkwardly shoehorned in out of place). I started jotting down fewer compliments, and my list of grievances began to swell: convoluted progression that is harder to figure out than most secrets (with frequently unintuitive nonlinearity masked as "puzzle solving"); inconsistent panels that need to be shot at; finding keys to doors you haven't seen yet (and sometimes they don't work even where you think they should); overuse of the "enemy in front of you teleports behind you" trick; x'es scratched on walls to denote switches that are way too subtle and hard to see; totally unfair chaingun sniper firing lines; too much backtracking; pressing a button and then having to run before the door closes; areas that are so dark you have to boost the gamma, and then be blinded when you step into the next room flooded with light (you can do pitch black in this game, but you have to be very careful how you utilize it).

When I got to MAP20 Silures, I searched up its author's name (Bob Evans) and wrote a note to "avoid at all costs". I also wrote "I play Doom for stress release, not to tax my brain. Action is good. Adventure is fun. A little bit of challenge and exploration are par for the course. NOT banging your head against the wall hoping something will pop open, scouring the level repeatedly to no avail." I couldn't even finish it. I never use cheats when I play Doom, unless I've mentally checked out of a level. I used cheats on several different levels in this megawad. "I'm clipping through walls, I'm using the ammo cheat, I don't even fucking care anymore". The readme asserts that Eternal Doom was "made lovingly by an assortment of crazies dedicated to driving wad players mad" - and it delivers.

Time Slip was pretty much the only level in the second half that I liked more than its flaws. It has very effective honeycombing (super efficient use of space) that doesn't feel contrived. The odd angles and varied floor heights work really well, with effective gating governed by a series of force fields you can progressively deactivate. Time Gate 2 had some interesting ideas that should have been developed more fully, but it doesn't live up to its predecessor, and the narrative conceit of time travel fades into irrelevant background noise. To wit: "this level doesn't even make any kind of sense, it's just a hodgepodge."

The final level, Excalibur, really should have been its own separate wad, and it bears addressing in its own paragraph. Under different conditions, I might have enjoyed this megalithic level - it's a sprawling fortress with lots of secrets (that are required for progress), and fairly decent honeycombing vaguely reminiscent of the architecture in the original Tomb Raider. However, it drowns in its own flawed theory of design. I was not surprised to learn that it was created by none other than Bob Evans, as it has many of the same flaws that caused me to throw my arms up in frustration playing his earlier level. My notes feature repeated occurrences of the phrases "pore over", "fine-toothed comb", and "what am I supposed to do?", followed by numerous expletives. I feel like this level was designed for the Doom community to play collectively, unlocking its secrets bit by bit. At this point, you either have to figure it all out yourself, or consult a detailed walkthrough, and neither strategy is very much fun. I don't have the patience to waste my time running back and forth across an enormous level with a magnifying glass, looking for tiny clues (and unmarked, walk-through walls), when my first instinct is "this level must be glitched". I thought this was going to be a quick "spawning vat" level like MAP30 usually is; instead I spent days on it, and that's even after I checked out and started following a walkthrough. I just wanted Eternal Doom to be over already, but it feels like it goes on for... well, an eternity. (Just like this review).

In conclusion, Eternal Doom I was fantastic. Eternal Doom II overstayed its welcome. And Eternal Doom III failed to justify its own existence. My recommendation is to play the first 12 levels then stop. And if you're feeling really ambitious one day, you can give Excalibur a try. Just expect to spend a lot of time on it and pay attention to every little detail (including the ones that aren't there).

Gothic DM

This is a full megawad of 32 deathmatch-only levels, in a gothic style. So, yeah, there's not much here for me to enjoy. But I will say, after spending months on that last megawad, it's refreshing being able to blow through a whole 32 levels in a single sitting! I just don't get the appeal of being in an enclosed cage and repetitively wailing on your friends (especially in arenas that are literally just single rooms lined with weapons - at least give me some tunnels or side passages!). Seems boring and overly aggressive. Give me some exploration. Give me some enemies I can exterminate that won't immediately respawn, so I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something!

Just a few quick notes. I really like the aesthetic of MAP02 Plaza at the End of the World (Andrei Romanov) - a stone castle floating in a grey mist. Would have been a good basis for a full level. There's actually a lot of creativity on display in this wad, I just hate to see it wasted on deathmatch levels. MAP10 Out Comes The Evil (Anthony Czerwonka) has some excellent lighting details. Wish I'd see more of this in regular levels, but maybe it's not practical to do on a larger scale. MAP11 Final Reclamation (Romanov) has a kind of plain aesthetic (although I don't dislike it), but features great architecture, with good use of varied floor heights; this would have been another fantastic non-deathmatch level. Hypostimus has a series of levels in the middle of this wad that seem to be carved up from a larger fortress arena. I wonder if some of these authors have ever made non-deathmatch levels. I recognized Iikka Keranen's name, responsible for the only untitled levels in a wad filled with imaginative titles (Necros Evangelicum anybody?). For what it's worth, in this never-played-a-single-deathmatch Doomguy's opinion, this looks like a really solid collection of levels.

STRAIN

We're into the thick of it now, with yet another 32 level megawad - explaining the time gap between this and my last Cacowards post (over a year ago - urp!). Touting itself as a total conversion, this is in fact the epitome of a partial conversion. The look and feel of the game is familiar (why mess with a winning formula?), but there are enough tweaks to make it feel original - from graphics to music to gameplay.

Among this wad's newly-engineered, tougher strain of enemies include red "pinkie" demons, fireball-spewing lost souls, imps on speed, and floating artillery drones (some of them cloaked). Meanwhile, the Cyberdemon and Spider Mastermind (in a new form) have been nerfed just enough to greatly improve their versatility, while a new grey Baron with a spread shot will have you twirling like a ballerina to avoid getting fried. And then there's the occasional BFG trooper for comic relief.

Poised as an unofficial sequel to Doom 2, this wad cleverly takes you to an appropriate yet unexplored arena - our own moon. As such, levels predominantly display a tech base aesthetic (effectively rendered, and at times fairly nonlinear), sometimes even feeling more alien than demonic. Which is refreshing, but it doesn't commit to the alien approach firmly enough to satisfy, and after 32 somewhat samey levels, I find myself missing the varied hellscapes of Doom 2.

The quality of this megawad is pretty consistently good, but my biggest complaint is that it struggles to reach greatness. My enthusiasm waned significantly around the start of the last third - if padding out a nine level episode introduced room for filler, then a 32 level megawad is at least three times as guilty. It's better to take your core set and trim the fat, than pad it out to reach a quota. That said, I appreciated that the last levels weren't overly bloated, as they can sometimes be. There is a place for gigantic levels in Doom, but I like having digestible 30-45 minute sessions of demon-slaying. And the final level spreads the action out just enough to make defeating the Icon of Sin manageable without using cheats (for once).

I'll finish with a few lingering remarks. I noted with interest that a couple levels in this megawad (MAP09 and MAP23, both credited to Anthony Czerwonka) were recycled from Dystopia 3. Highlights of my playthrough include the subterranean tunnel infrastructure of MAP06 (Launch Control), the sparse and eerie "working class" atmosphere of MAP18 (Relay Station), and the main laboratory complex in MAP25. Some of the levels seem designed for coop, which left me a little bit confused at times. I liked the secret level, but I felt that the path to unlock the super secret level was prohibitively unintuitive. Doomworld touts this wad's meticulous gameplay balance; for the most part this is true, but playing from pistol start, there were multiple levels where I got frustrated by how many rockets I was picking up, without being given the rocket launcher. Finally, there were some levels (especially towards the end) that were way too dark. If I'm sitting in a room at night with the lights off, and I still have to boost the gamma just to see what I'm doing, your level is too dark.

Mordeth

This is a hall-of-fame wad right here. After being on the fence about STRAIN - it's good, there's nothing really wrong with it, it just didn't get me excited - it's nice to be reminded of what it feels like to play a wad that truly stands above the competition. After 32 levels of STRAIN, I could honestly take it or leave it, but just 6 levels of Mordeth has me clamoring for more. Who knows, maybe after 26 more of these levels I'd eventually start to get bored of it, too. But nothing in STRAIN tickled my fancy the way this wad does. Like STRAIN, Mordeth is an effective partial conversion that touts itself as a total conversion. It feels like Doom, albeit with the addition of gargoyles inhabiting fog-enshrouded swamps.

From the start - and I had to make sure I got it loaded correctly; it looks MUCH better with the trees displaying properly - this wad draws you in with its eerie, gothic atmosphere. The architecture and level design is top tier, with lived-in arenas that have a real sense of place. There are dark hallways illuminated by glowing torchlight (pitch black is used sparingly - and tastefully, for once), warm, wooden textures and cobblestone streets, with cozy libraries to be found in every level! Plus, this wad makes excellent use of the pseudo-3D environment. You'll be climbing boxes (in a way that's familiar while still feeling fresh), jumping in and out of windows, hopping between roofs and crawling across narrow ledges. If you only play one wad from '97, make it this one.

The Talosian Incident (A Requiem For Doom)

Gear up for twenty levels of exploration on an ostensibly lifeless planet (spoiler: it isn't) by the "Black Star Coven" - a group of level designers doing one last Doom wad before moving on to Quake. Once again, I have mixed feelings. Not since Aliens TC has a Doom level been so ominous without featuring any enemies whatsoever. After leaving the ship, you begin to explore the planet and much of its underground, including (surprise!) inhabited structures that occasionally evoke a vaguely liminal feeling, which is enhanced by the original soundtrack.

Early on, I was set to sign off on The Talosian Incident being a fun wad (if not especially challenging) that emphasizes adventure over action (nothing wrong with that). Consider how the levels connect intuitively to one another, giving the sense that you're exploring sections of a larger world, instead of detached arenas in isolated pockets of empty space. But I quickly grew bored of the simple aesthetic and at times irritating and repetitive level design. Lighting waffles between being warmly atmospheric and coldly technical. There is a completely unnecessary overabundance of doors, frequently without proper color-coding, and a weird obsession with binary-branching corridors. This wad isn't a stinker by any means, but it's not a slam dunk either.

Dawn of the Dead

You know what would have been perfect? An adaptation of George Romero's Dawn of the Dead in Doom II, with the player exploring a suburban shopping mall during a demonic outbreak. "When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth!" Unfortunately, that's not what this is. This is a nine level (excuse me, eight level - one of the levels consists solely of an exit switch; kind of a disappointing way to tell the player, "we didn't meet the quota") episode replacement for the original Doom (we haven't done one of those in a while), featuring another iteration of the "teleporter mishap on moon base" story (this time it's Europa) we've all heard before. Honestly, the author should have picked a different title, so players wouldn't go in expecting something they weren't going to get.

That said, it's a perfectly satisfactory set of levels reminiscent of original Doom, with the familiar techbase aesthetic. Although, the episodes of Doom progressively got more hellish, leading to all the colorful variety of Doom II's levelset, so this wad (styling itself as "Episode V") feels like a step backward. It also suffers (although not cripplingly so) from the same limitations shared by all wads designed for original Doom - the reduced weapon and enemy set leads to somewhat more frustrating gameplay, with lots of hitscan damage, and a frequent disparity between the weapons available to you and the punishingly tough Barons (especially on Ultraviolence mode). It's almost not fair to judge this wad on those [de]merits, but it makes you wonder if we've matured beyond Doom I level design at this point...

Hell Revealed

Let me tell you, this megawad is a hot mess. The level design is mediocre, with questionable architecture, a bland aesthetic, and too many untelegraphed exit switches. The music is discordantly upbeat, like it belongs in a Megaman game. The author(s) appear to lack a deep understanding of how to utilize monsters, hiding behind the excuse of trying to be "super difficult", while mistaking volume for difficulty. I mean, you could easily make a level that's just a Berserk pack and a hundred Barons, and it would be super difficult. Also, obnoxiously tedious. Would it be any fun? None whatsoever. Would there be any point in playing it? Not at all. Even as a flex it would be pretty pathetic.

And I'm no spring chicken; I'm a veteran Doomguy. I've been playing this game since the shareware release in '93. UV max from pistol start is my bread and butter (minus the speedrunning). I don't hate this wad because it's "too hard" - I like a good challenge. I hate it because it's not any fun. And because I don't have enough hours left in my life to waste on shit like this. I only managed to suffer through a third of it. Picture this: you've unloaded ALL your ammo on literal wall-to-wall imps, so you punch through them to grab an invulnerability sphere, then spend the ENTIRE duration of your invulnerability phase smashing imps to giblets left and right, and STILL have wall-to-wall imps left over after the invulnerability has worn off. That's when I checked out.

Turning on cheats just to see what was left didn't improve my experience much. It would be humorous, if it weren't so downright offensive to any objective sensibility of level balance, how much I have to sit there and spam the BFG, just trying to zoom through the whole thing. So many of the later levels are just "how many enemies can we fit between the player and the exit?" (Too many - the answer is too many). Was this wad made by an adolescent who thought putting a monster on literally every available tile was a cool idea? This wad makes conventional excess look like restraint. Cyberdemons and Spider Masterminds left and right. So many Archviles you're actually floating across the screen. A wad like this demands a bigger weapon than even the BFG. A weapon that would make the BFG look like the pistol by comparison. A weapon to instantly wipe out every monster on screen. Like a bio-fucking EMP. The idea that anyone would play these levels straight (either willingly or under coercion) is completely unthinkable to me. You're better off not playing them at all.

Hell's Eventide

After completing so many megawads from '97, I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to be able to finish out the year with a couple of single, standalone levels. The first is Hell's Eventide (kind of a pretentious title, no?). Considering that it's a "chain" wad (passed around between three authors, with each one modifying a segment and then passing it on to the next person), it's pretty cohesive. It's also challenging, while not being unmanageable (I'm looking at you, Hell Revealed). I won't say that it's a must play wad, but it's perfectly decent; and given the short time investment, it's worth a spin.

Chord_ng

And we end on a high note! From Malcolm Sailor, an author who worked on many of the levels in The Talosian Incident, comes this gem (that replaces MAP28 - you'll have to warp to the right level). The readme specifically cautions the player about the difficulty on Ultraviolence mode - and it is hard. That said, I UV maxed it - with some effort, but no lingering complaints. So that should tell you something about the validity of my criticism of Hell Revealed. Apart from the challenge, this is also a really cool-looking level, with some inspiration from Quake. It really feels like I'm scaling a high-rise tower. Even without the supreme difficulty, I would totally play more levels in this vein. I recommend it. (And if you're not as good as me, you can always choose a lower difficulty setting).

JUDGMENT: Keeping in mind that for any wad to win a Cacoward, it must have distinguished itself in some way, I'm making the assumption that you don't have time to play them all, and that you value my opinion (otherwise, you wouldn't be reading my reviews), so here are my recommendations for which wads are most worthy of your time.

Must Play: Eternal Doom*, Mordeth, Chord_ng
Time Killers: Requiem, STRAIN, The Talosian Incident, Dawn of the Dead, Hell's Eventide
Skip: Gothic DM**, Hell Revealed

*(but do yourself a favor and delete the wad after you finish MAP12)
**(unless you're a deathmatch player, in which case have at it)

See you in 1998!