Spaghetti

I find it interesting that when I was learning coding around the turn of the millennium, we were trained to avoid GOTO commands, because it contributed to what was referred to as "spaghetti code", where everything is a jumbled mess, with the execution jumping around back and forth through the code. But today, whenever I try to make sense of the code that powers RPG Maker (so I can modify it to do what I want), I'm hampered by "modular coding", where everything is broken up into tiny snippets almost to the point of looking like they do nothing, and the execution is constantly jumping around through thousands of lines of code, and you have to track down an issue like a hunter in the bush, and still can't figure out how the damn code is doing a thing, because there are references everywhere, and you can't make heads or tails of any of it. It's like when you look up a word in a dictionary, and it gives another word you don't know, so you look that word up, and end up going around in circles, without ever actually figuring anything out. I'd rather slurp on a single noodle until I reach the end, than try to match up a single strand from a plate of cut up spaghetti.

Review: Tomb Raider II Remastered

Logging upwards of a combined total of 160 hours of gameplay across two games over more than five months, it's taking me longer than I had anticipated (although that is by no means a bad thing), but I have finally completed the remastered version of Tomb Raider II!

While not as flawless a game from start to finish as Tomb Raider I, it's still an iconic classic, with a number of innovations (some that hit better than others). The traps are dialed up, Lara's got some new moves (including climbing ladders, wading in shallow water, riding ziplines, and launching precariously from springboards), as well as some new outfits (marvel at her wetsuit, and iconic bomber jacket). Flares are a welcome addition to light the many dark corners of this game (although I wish their light would show in camera mode), and I like the way secrets are newly implemented - three dragon statues (stone, jade, and gold) are located in every level; some of them are hard to find, while others lie in plain sight but require a mastery of Lara's agility to acquire. This time, I was able to find them all (AND collect every pickup in the game) on my first playthrough!

A valid criticism of this game is that it veers away from the dusty tombs Lara is known for raiding - it's less treasure hunting, and more infiltrating a secret society, with more urban environments, and a high encounter rate for goons and thugs. Aside from rats and dogs, there are long portions of this game where the only enemies you fight are human. Is it more difficult? Yeah. You're taking a lot more hits from long range gun damage, and sucking up a lot of health packs as a result. But I find I don't enjoy it as much. It's not as imaginative as the tigers and sharks and spiders (wait 'til you see the big one!) that attack you in the wild. However, I do like the addition of the harpoon gun - which you can shoot underwater. And using the grenade launcher to blow baddies into giblets may be gratuitous, but it's loads of fun!

To be fair, it's a novel experience careening through the canals of Venice in a motor boat (Lara's first vehicle!), and the Opera House is on par with (maybe even superior to) the Colosseum from Tomb Raider I. But my patience for vehicle travel began to wane when the snowmobile was introduced. Vehicles are reckless, and I tend to be methodical. You're blowing past a lot of scenery quickly, which is counterproductive to the aims of exploring your environment. Also, it tends to encourage long, simple passages instead of the intricate, criss-crossing architecture I like in these games.

On the other hand, the Maria Doria (an undersea shipwreck) is as cool as anything you can explore in any Tomb Raider game - the enormity of The Deck cannot be adequately conveyed by a screenshot. And the Tibetan levels return some of the atmosphere of Peru (while featuring the frightening introduction of the Yeti). I like how you can recruit the monks of Barkhang Monastery to help you fend off the mercenaries hunting you - but only if you aim your shots carefully!

Meanwhile, the run-up to the climax is truly unforgettable tomb raiding. The Temple of Xian is a sprawling underground fortress that feels suitably Indiana Jones-like, and is the epitome of what a great Tomb Raider level can be. The Floating Islands are wonderfully imaginative, leading to a spectacular final boss encounter. And as for the epilogue? Not to be crude, but (spoiler for the ending!) Lara wearing a bathrobe while defending herself during a home invasion fueled many an adolescent fantasy, once upon a time. Given how antagonistic Lara Croft's handlers are to the fabled nude code (for this game, they teased a button combination that, when entered, causes Lara to explode), you could almost forget that the character started out as a sex icon, back in the day when having a sex drive wasn't considered "problematic".

As a final note, the expansion levels (which I played for the first time) effectively combine industrial and snowy textures to construct a Russian outpost, although the atmosphere of these levels is (however appropriate) very bleak. The fun only really begins after you retrieve the Golden Mask. I appreciated the heavy touch of Midas, and the opportunity to explore Bigfoot's tree house. And the Vegas-themed secret bonus level was a hoot!

After I collect a few more badges, I'm looking forward to moving on to the exciting locations featured in Tomb Raider III - including jungles, tropical islands, Area 51, and Antarctica! I'll be sad when it's all done, though...

Review: Tomb Raider I Remastered

After about 60 hours of gameplay spread across nearly two months, I've finished the first of the three games included in Tomb Raider Remastered. I wanted to take my time and savor the experience, exploring each level thoroughly before moving on. It was an absolutely delightful nostalgia trip. The new graphics look great, while being respectful to the original look of the game, and the camera mode was a joy to play with. (See the attached screenshots - warning: there be spoilers!). This is the most satisfyingly faithful remaster of a video game I can ever remember playing.

My only complaint with the new graphics - and it's a minor one - is how consistently dim they were (I had to brighten every one of my screenshots). I appreciate what they were trying to do, evening out the light levels - the old graphics have a lot of contrast between dark and bright areas. But I think I prefer the ambience of the original, in spite of its rougher edges. It sounds silly, but it was to a point where I got into the habit of using the button to toggle graphics (love this feature, by the way) as a makeshift flashlight! Also to help spot pickups, which tend to "glow in the dark" more with the old school graphics.

My opinion, biased though I may be as an almost exclusively retro gamer, is that this game still holds up some thirty years later. The most frequent complaints I'd heard - about the camera movement and the controls - didn't faze me. Controlling the camera is part of Lara's skill set that you have to learn, and eventually becomes second nature. And if we didn't have any problems using tank controls back in the day, then you can get used to them now. Keep in mind that this is a game from the mid to late '90s (one of the greatest from its era). It's not supposed to play like a modern game.

There are so many iconic locations in this game - The Lost Valley, Palace Midas, Sanctuary of the Scion, and Atlantis (not what we were expecting, but remarkable in its own way) are among the first levels that come to mind, but there is literally not a single one that isn't memorable. If ever there were a game that demanded a level editor, this is it. I would love to explore what talented world builders could come up with, taking the basic themes of these levels and expanding on them, creating more challenging puzzles for experienced tomb raiders like myself. Very much like the included expansion levels. I'd actually never played them before. They were fantastic!

I'm proud to say that I was able to find ALL the secrets in this first game on my own. A few of them were very well-hidden. The only thing that surprised me was that there was more combat than I'd remembered. One of the legitimate criticisms of these early games - aside from the racial stereotypes - is how much time you spend essentially hunting down endangered species. And it only becomes more complicated in the later games when there are more human enemies. I'd leave them alone, but they're quite aggressive. Why doesn't Lara pack a tranquilizer gun?

But it's the adventure and exploration that I come for. The new achievement badges offered through Steam are a welcome addition, and add some fun, a little bit of humor, and a good deal of replayability to the game. I managed to avoid using any health packs at all on my first playthrough! I think I'm gonna try to earn a few more (e.g., speedrun, limited saves, all kills, all pickups) while the game is still really fresh in my memory. But after that, I'm looking forward to moving on to Tomb Raider II!